Coach an “I-message” — Lawyer & Mediator · Pretender

In a fictional school mediation, Inês is upset because her friend Rui shared her secret in the group chat. You help her say how she feels without attacking him. Build a message: what happened, how I feel, what I need.

⚖️ All cases here are invented. This is not legal advice. For a real problem, talk to a trusted adult who can help you find proper support.

Write a message · ~3 min

Your role

You're the peer mediator (in this game).

Your goal

Build a message: what happened, how I feel, what I need.

What you know

“You” accusations make people defensive; “I” statements invite listening.

Limits

Rui is listening and also feels bad.

Success looks like

Describes, not blames — A fact, not a label.
Names the feeling — Clear and honest.
Asks for a need — A clear, doable request.

Skills you used

Empathy — Understanding how others feel.
Communication — Saying things clearly and kindly.

In real life

Mediators coach people to use “I-messages”: describing the event, naming the feeling and stating a need — a technique also used in schools' peer-mediation programmes.

Lawyer & Mediator

Help people solve disagreements fairly.

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